Slowly Unfreezing Despite The Chill

When I think Winter I grin.
To me it means cosy fires, beautiful frost patterns, cherished blue-bird days and SNOW! I love snow. Nothing else makes me feel like quite such a kid! Endless possibilities in sculpting, making trails, sliding and laughing with friends. And it is just so mesmerisingly beautiful as it falls softly from the sky. I can sit and watch for hours.

It’s been a hard start to the year though, into this 2021 weirdness. The weather has been amazing up here in the Cairngorms, so much snow and beauty all around. Thank goodness, it has reminded me of just how incredible the world is despite everything that is going on.

My brain shut down after Christmas. Probably an overload of worry. I’m used to constant sparks of ideas that ignite each other and lead on to something else, another exploration or wonder. But this felt like my head was stuffed with cotton-wool, thoughts would just not form into anything coherent and my attention span was pretty similar to that of a puppy (ie. non-existent!). I was okay, but not really myself.
And it lasted for weeks.

What pulled me back was walking in this gorgeous landscape, and committing to stitch something every single day. A tiny paper patchwork of anything. Just appreciate and then create.

Every. Single. Day.

It took a whole month before I realised that fresh ideas were finally starting to form and link together. I was losing myself into the flow, just having fun creating bright and cheery experiments. Playing. Having proper deep joyous fun again.

I had my brain back!

Small book splayed to show stitched paper art on each page

SO happy. So inspired. So many things to create, do, test, catch up on, finish, share and wonder at! And I am having the very best time trying new things, seems like I am pushing myself out of my comfort zone a bit more. Keeping the sparks jumping with wee adrenaline pops.
Wild swimming ice dips are pretty good for that, but don’t tell your friends that you are looking for mini challenges, that gets out of hand really quickly! My friends are the most incredible people (I love you guys so much!) but they have crazy imaginations.

So if your brain has moth-balled itself like mine did, maybe it just needs a rest, a recuperation before it comes back refreshed and ready to create again. Embrace a little more ebb and flow. Chat with a friend.
Find something tiny that makes you smile and revisit it every day. Be gentle with yourself.
You are amazing, always and no matter what.

(The above story is purely my personal experience and is in no way medical advice. Shared because I think it’s important for the conversation about mental health to be more open, the little dips and the large. Talking helps. There are fabulous health professionals available to chat to 24/7, never hesitate to reach out.)